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What is Staircase Wit?

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Staircase wit is when you think of a perfect reply too late. It often occurs in response to a stressful situation in which your response to a challenge or insult is ineffective.

Counterfactual Thinking

Staircase wit is an example of counterfactual thinking, or thinking about the impossible. A witty reply can only occur in the moment. As such, staircase wit is somewhat useless except as a training exercise for future wit.

The Comeback

After developing an effective reply, it can be tempting to try to recreate the scene so as to deliver it. This is typically a bad idea. By definition, wit occurs at conversational speed and can't be delivered after the fact.
The urge to deliver staircase wit, was the theme of an episode of the American television comedy Seinfeld entitled The Comeback. George, a character in the show, is eating shrimp cocktail when he is told "Hey George, the ocean called, they're running out of shrimp." He is struck with a slow-witted moment and is unable to reply. However, he soon becomes obsessed with delivering the comeback "Well, the Jerk Store called, and they're running out of you."
Overview: Staircase Wit
Type
Definition
When you think of a perfect reply too late.
Origin
Based on the French L'esprit de l'escalier, attributed to philosopher Denis Diderot's anecdote about thinking of a witty reply too late while walking down a staircase after dinner.
Value
May have value in preparing for future replies as a type of counterfactual thinking
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