Earning Respect
I'm sick of just liking people. I wish to God I could meet somebody I could respect.If respect is about admiration then in theory you can earn respect by being admirable. But what does this mean? Being admirable is more than being good and following the rules. In fact, it may involve breaking rules, taking risks, engaging in struggle and owning your imperfection. This is why audiences will invariably respect the reluctant hero and likable villain over the smug do-gooder. The following are behaviors that may earn respect.
~ J. D. Salinger
Dignity - upholding yourself no matter the situation such that you can't be easily put down by others. | Humility - the strength not to have to promote yourself. |
Charisma - a magnetic quality whereby people are draw to you. | Charm - making others feel good. |
Code of Honor - living up to your principles or those of a society, institution or culture. | Complexity - being difficult to figure out. |
Confidence - some element of confidence such as creative, social or intellectual confidence. | Conflicting Traits - conflicting traits can be respectable such as being a charming loner. |
Consistency - sustaining your positive traits over time. | Effort - trying hard even if you may fail. |
Emotional Depth - a great depth of feeling for things. | Imperfection - flaws that are likable or attractive. |
Owning It - owning your failures and flaws such that you don't try to hide them. | Humanity - being a real human being. |
Humor - a respected social ability only where you get it right. | Intelligence - a respected social ability if you aren't smug or boring about it. |
Morality - demonstrating a strong sense of right and wrong. | Mystery - the strong silent type gets respect as do all truly mysterious characters. |
Physicality - a formidable physical presence. | Failure - failing and recovering is a compelling type of human experience that gets respect. |
Redemption - righting a wrong. | Showing Respect - holding admirable things in high regard makes you admirable if you're not smug about it. |
Resilience - people admire those who overcome adversity. | Accomplishment - doing something with your life. |
Competition - the ability to thrive in competition and win much of the time. | Presence - a formidable personal presence such that people notice you. |
Facing Fear - doing things that other people fear. | Feats of Strength - doing things others doubt they could do. |
Kindness - having a kind side to you whereby you are good people. | Integrity - doing what you think is right. |
Bias for Action - doing something even if it's wrong. | Self-respect - taking your life seriously and trying hard to develop. |
Loss of Respect
As respect can be earned it can also be lost. It is often argued that it takes a lifetime to build up respect and only a moment to lose it. This is perhaps a productive way to think but in reality we can quickly earn respect and can also recover from its loss. The following are behaviors that may cause an individual to lose respect.Arrogance | Being Unkind |
Being Unreliable | Breaking Promises |
Cowardliness | Dishonesty |
Disrespecting Others | Gossiping |
Hypocrisy | Incompetence |
Laziness | Narcissism |
Negativity | Neglecting Personal Hygiene |
Passive Aggressiveness | Poor Moral Judgement |
Selfishness | Violating Norms and Rules People Value |